Friday, February 9, 2007

Busy Day Today

I'm downstairs in my special place trying to sort out how this day should run. I know a few facts, like the allergy appointment at 11 and the kids BookIt lunch shortly afterward. I know I need to go get some PJ's for Zack, and some groceries and batteries and pay some bills and sort out the medical bills better so we can attack them better when the tax refund comes... But what I really want to do is stay down here in this little room, my craft room, and play.

The first craft show I intend to work this year is in May. I have some jewelry ready, but I need to do alot more. I have not mastered time management yet (praying for wisdom and understanding, though, so I WILL get it!) I haven't figured out how to school the children and keep the house really clean. Anything beyond those two has eluded me completely.

I want a solid quiet time with God every day. I NEED it.
I want some craft/business time several times a week.
I want to have a spotless house, but I have been ever so willing to sacrifice the spotless part for the sake of the kids' schooling. It needs to be cleaner, though...
I want time to play music every day.
I want to finish my basement so I have a nice, consistent classroom and access to the craftroom, and so my husband can have a space of his own to sprawl over without taking up my craftroom!

These are strong desires and needs. I will find a way to have better quiet times with the Lord, that is a must, but the rest are desires that I will just have to figure out and not obsess over. My first priority is my First Love, Jesus Christ, followed closely by my second, my husband. After that, it's the kids, training them, growing them, encouraging and allowing them to blossom. The rest may come - I hope and pray that it does come soon, of course - but it pales in comparison. I do know, though, that I am beloved, bought and paid-for, and that my desires matter to my Father in heaven. That gives me hope!

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

A Rough Weekend, to be Sure

This was a rough weekend indeed. I had another anaphylactic reaction, but this time I was home alone with the kids. I had shown my sons Joshua and Zechariah where I keep my epipens and how to do it, in case of emergency where I am not able to do it myself, just a few days ago. Then on Saturday, it started up. Most likely this reaction happened because of two reasons: first, the blasted doctor in the ER last week did not give me credit for knowing my own body and medical history. I told him that before, when I had the reaction to the crab and shrimp, that I had been put on prednisone 60mg for 4 days, and when it was stopped suddenly I had another anaphylactic reaction, and my doctor had suggested that it was probably a rebound reaction. He insisted that it was very rare and would not happen again. Guess what... The second reason this reaction probably happened was because when the prednisone was stopped from a high dose suddenly, a small allergen became a big one for the moment. I had brushed my sheltie, Charlie, about twenty minutes before my breathing became compromised. My hands had been itching, and I had not heard back from my regular doctor about whether I should risk taking benadryl or not.

When the itching started in my mouth and throat, and the tightening sensation started around my chest and neck, I called my dr on his private number (bless his precious heart for answering) to ask if I could take benadryl. He heard my breathing go from bad to worse and advised me to use my epipen and call for an ambulance. He said to tell the ER doctor to fax him a copy of the report and to please write the prednisone prescription as a 12 to 16-day step down. The ER doctor said NO. Fortunately, my husband called our dr back and he called the pharmacy directly with the step-down prescription.

Why do ER doctors so often refuse to HEAR what their patients present them? For example: Last week when I had the reaction, my heart started beating in a bigemini pattern (a PVC every other heartbeat) as the benadryl was being administered. I had not used my epipen before hitting the ER because we were close by (and BOY did I get read the riot act for that one!) so they gave me epinepherine when I got there, along with some strong steroids and benadryl. As the benadryl was being administered, I suddenly could taste it, then the sensation traveled to my heart and it started skipping beats. It might have been the epinepherine, as it does affect the heart, but given the physical trail that it took, it was most likely the benadryl. Perhaps it was administered faster than I can handle it. So when I got to the ER this time, I made sure to let them know about that reaction and the doctor told me that it was not the benadryl, but rather the epinepherine that caused it. He didn't say 'not likely,' but 'not.' He then proceeded to tell me that I should not use the epipen so quickly. Hmmmm... My throat was closing and I was having a harder and harder time breathing... when should I have used it? After I passed out??? (This is not even considering the fact that my own doctor told me to go use it, and I live at least twenty minutes from the hospital...) He said that I was not even wheezing when I got there. Let's see... The epi started wearing off in the ambulance, enough that the techs got REALLY nervous and wanted to administer a second epi. They called the dr in the ER and he advised them to administer an albuterol neb treatment instead, which did the trick for a while. Hence, no wheezing... Anyway, I asked the doctor, "Okay, then. Would you please advise me as to when I SHOULD use the epipen?" He said, "No." I reminded him that my throat was closing and I was having a hard time breathing with 4 small children in the house, and he would only say "It's different for each person."

Even though he doesn't believe the benadryl was the cause of the bigemini, he did order a slightly different antihistimine, and a lower dose of it, and it was administered by IV over a ten-minute period. I was not watching the nurse, but I could tell every single time she pushed some in. I could taste it, then I felt like I was going to vomit. It got to where I had to close my eyes, because looking around made me feel like I was going to faint. After about 10 more minutes, those sensations lessened to a tolerable level, and I thank God that my heart only skipped a beat here and there rather than going into that awful rhythm!

I did my very best the whole time I was there to be calm. I used relaxation techniques to try to get past the freaky stuff. I tried to breathe slowly and evenly. I spoke kindly with the doctor and nurses (those nurses were wonderful.) But now I am honestly perturbed by the whole thing. Is it the ER doctor's version of pride or arrogance? I mean, this guy is supposed to be great. I had a similar situation in a different ER, more than once, during Stephen's treatments and on my own visits. It's like they don't give me credit for having a brain, or for knowing what I am talking about.

Hello, I've been here before! Hear me, Okay???

Friday, February 2, 2007

Date Night

This afternoon I was downstairs working our our taxes. Stephen came into the room and said, "Mom, I love you! Can we have a date night tonight?"

I love date night with my boys! It is generally an excuse to treat one of them really nice, and allow them to treat me nicely, too. They get to practice their manners and etiquette, and we get to eat really good food. Among seven children, individual time is at a premium! This is the way we've been able to make it happen over the past few years. It is not a frequent experience, but always a pleasant one.

Tonight, though, we honestly don't have the money for a date night. Still, I couldn't turn him down. I mean, I treasure every single time one of my children wants to spend time with ME! So I asked if we could have a date watching a movie together and enjoying some snacks. He was thrilled with that idea, so we are going to go watch RV (again) and enjoy some fruit and cheese and crackers. This is going to be wonderful!!!